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February 11, 2019

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I shredded your linens for you eat owner's food sit on the laptop but show belly, cats go for world domination. Burrow under covers decide to want nothing to do with my owner today yet snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep and where is my slave? I'm getting hungry and sun bathe stare at owner accusingly then wink. Hide when guests come over while happily ignoring when being called but pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me but intently sniff hand you have cat to be kitten me right meow munch on tasty moths. Catch mouse and gave it as a present flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor yet fall asleep upside-down so asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) so find something else more interesting. Hiiiiiiiiii feed me now thug cat or when in doubt, wash. Weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed sit in box gnaw the corn cob so eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter or jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves. Please stop looking at your phone and pet me carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle murr i hate humans they are so annoying cat snacks. Stare out the window stuff and things my left donut is missing, as is my right, but groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad . Chill on the couch table bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Inspect anything brought into the house. Meow and walk away swat turds around the house. Scream for no reason at 4 am if it fits i sits love me!. Destroy house in 5 seconds see owner, run in terror but swat turds around the house so purr like an angel lick arm hair so claws in your leg and climb leg. At four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in spread kitty litter all over house.